Open up your arms and hold on too.

i keep seeing you in my dreams. it's been two nights in a row now and i don't know what is causing this. but i'd really like for it to stop.

i miss youuuuuu lots and lots

So ready to leave on sunday. Well needed vacation and some time away from this place. I'm also really excited that we're going to the same campground that we went to in Gettysburg last time we vacationed there. And that my parents are letting me drive. That means me and morgan, every night, going on some ghost hunts, and every morning going into the little town right next to it to shop. Hopefully we can find a theatre there so we can go see the midnight showing of Harry Potter. We'll see. I am beyond excited/ready for this!

I'm kind of over this whole summer deal. I really just want to get back to school and get my senior year over with. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying my summer very much, actually. But I am just tired of waiting for another year of strict routine to roll around. It's my last year of high school and as much as i do want to enjoy it, is also as much as i want it to be over with already. I love summer, and this one has been pretty great so far and it's only going to get better. And I'm sure of this. But I am just ready for this coming school year to already be over with. I'm just ready for something new. I'm sick and tired of waiting. I want some change. And as much as I am unaccustomed to it, I am in some serious need of it.


6 more days until Gettysburg. I'm ready to pack my bags and say goodbye to Maryland for a few days. A getaway should be rather nice.

I really wish that money didn't have to associate life with living. You need money to get by and that's not okay. That shouldn't be how people have to live. I really just want to run away to some foreign place and not have to worry about how much money i have in my pocket.


Yeah, a girl can dream.

I need to make some changes in my life.

I feel like, at most, things in my life are all at a hault at the moment. Like everything just found it's own little place and it doesn't want to move. I don't if that makes any sense to anyone, even myself for that matter. But I really feel that I need something more in my life. I don't know what that something is, or needs to be, or could be or what have you...but I just need something to occupy my mind. I am in the same routine everyday and I can't get out of it. It's like i'm living on repeat. And reruns get old after you've seen the same thing over and over again. If you know what I mean.

Maybe it's just time for a change. I don't know what that change is, needs to be, or could be...once again...but something needs to come along and get rid of this mentality I have enlisted in my brain. Just something new, fun, not so routine. Change of pace. I don't know.

Maybe what I really need is the vacation that is coming up. Although I will be surrounded by my whole entire family and my best friend maybe it will just be good to get out of Maryland for a bit and the surrounding area. All I can say, is I can not wait for next years vacation. Cabo here I come!


Anyway, you can't move on in life if there isn't a constant change of pace. Some people are afraid of change...and what it brings. I just try and embrace it. And this is one of those times where I would REALLY enjoy the embracing of some much needed change.

i am an idiot.
i never want to drink again.
i am just going to pretend like nothing ever happened.
everything is going to be just fine!

i really hate goodbyes.

You have no reason to be so upset.
It's ridiculous, I mean you do kind of have a reason to be upset but not to the extent where i need to stop following you on tumblr...
honestly, you contacted me. I have never said or done anything to you in my life.
It was your fault for asking in a message on myspace why i started following you on there.
What was I supposed to do... lie? I don't play like that.

I really think I want to be an airline attendant.

I need a break.
Just a week or even just a weekend away from everyone and everything would be nice.
Just so I can do some thinking and living on my own.
No distractions. No yelling. No one, just me.

Apparently I am just worthless.
Thanks mom. That makes me feel really great.

i have spent my whole summer, so far, with my cousin, his best friend and my best friend, doing pretty much nothing, but having so much fun nonetheless.
it's safe to say that i am going to be seriously upset when kristjon and carlos leave on sunday. me and morgan made them some great going away presents though.

today me and morgan got lost going straight for what felt like 15 minutes but ended up being an hour or so, (we had planned to do this though, for what reason i couldn't tell you) into parkville/baltimore. GPS saved our lives, thank goodness. It was a good day overall.

Fuck, not seeing Portugal. The Man
people leaving when they should just stay
having no money, ever, even when i have a job
my house, and most of the people around me


i'm happy, i just wish i had better things to do and more money to spend on better things to do

I definitely enjoyed myself last night more so than I thought.

If only...
you didn't live in Florida.
you were staying longer than the 21st.
you lived here.

You are so beautiful.
Too bad you wear jandles and live far away.

I've found after doing my reading last night (tarot cards) I feel much better about where I am headed and the direction my life is going in as of this moment and the near to far future. I had a really good reading which I didn't prepare myself for.


This stressful week is almost over and then school will be out and I'll have the very great summer I will be having to look forward to. Camping this weekend, my cousins graduation party saturday afternoon and then the True Blood Season 2 Premiere on Sunday night. Goooooooood weekend to end my junior year with! :)

maybe i should start taking my parents advice.
my ego sometimes surpasses what i actually intake from my parents screaming and yelling about how much better i am then what i let on (school wise) i always wait last minute to not screw up. To the point where i almost can't fix things.


i am going to try and stay relaxed though. i highly doubt that that will work. but i am really going to try. damn hard.

I have so much make up work to do. It is beyond stressful. And this is the last week of school, it is supposed to be so easy. Eh, all I am worried about is math. I need to pass math or I will be in summer school.


Ugh